October thoughts –
People are right when the talk about Boston in the fall. It’s as colorful as Chicago, minus the completely sudden drop of temperature. I’d say everyday in October so far has been above 50 degrees, and that is something to be REALLY thankful about (I think it snowed on the October 20th last year). My commute, while still out of the way, has become more of a time for me to enjoy to scenery and breath before the day starts. I’m more productive at school, I have a job (finally), and things are starting to feel normal. I guess that’s a good place to be.
What’s not normal is pushing every single day. Minus the month leading to my senior recital (where I died a bit), undergrad felt like I had a chance to take a day to relax and take my mind off things; but out here, that’s not a luxury I can afford. There is always something I can and need to do to be better.
Hands tired from marimba? Go practice snare. Bored of snare? There’s xylophone excerpts you haven’t learnt yet. Can’t look at a keyboard anymore? Well you do kinda stink at tambourine, so put in some work there. Oh wait, I haven’t touched a drum set in a week, I need to keep that up too. etc. etc. etc.
When I push like this everyday, just to feel normal around everyone else and the amount of talent here, I tend to get burnt out and discouraged.
But when I left home, I had so many people tell me they believed in what I was doing. That they believed that this is where I was supposed to be, even when I didn’t want to believe it myself. And whether or not I want to believe it, God has lead me here for whatever reason that He has in store, so I can’t really argue with that.
So when I am tired of practicing and want to give up, when I want to stop early, take a day off, I remember that I’m not always doing this for myself. I’m doing this because I feel lead here, I’m doing this because other’s believe in me, and I’m doing this because I’m lucky enough to even be here in the first place.
To the people who have supported me so far and continue to remind me of why I’m doing this, you have encouraged me more than you know.